Table Setting Basics

I realize we have become a casual culture that no longer prioritizes formality, but just as manners, kindness, respect, and civility will never go out of fashion, neither will the knowledge of proper table setting. Granted, many brides today forego the oversized sets of fine china and other dishware these days, but that doesn't mean you won't end up with your grandmother's or mom's set of dishes. You should also take into consideration that one day, you may wind up being the host or hostess for a family gathering or holiday meal, or you may be called upon and asked to set someone else's table while they finish up in the kitchen. Table setting is a basic life skill that is good to know!

The image above show us what a normal, casual setting should look like. An easy way to remember what side the silverware goes on is this: LEFT/FORK (there are four letters in each word). RIGHT/KNIFE, SPOON (there are five letters in each word!). Place the knife next to the plate with the blade facing inwards (towards the plate edge), with the spoon right beside it. Water/drinking glass goes above the knife and spoon on the right side to cater to all those right-handed people. Sorry all you southpaws! The napkin can rest under the fork or be placed on top of the dinner plate. This is how you should be setting your everyday table.

Our next two pictures show us what a more formal place setting might look like. This would be typical for a holiday dinner, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas, or for a larger gathering where they may be a salad course in addition to the main dish and sides. The picture on the left shows us how the place setting may look if you have a lot of room on your table. You'll notice the small bread plate at the top of the setting with the bread knife placed over it (blade side downwards, facing the diner). We also have the addition of a wine glass on the table and I've seen it placed on either side of the drinking glass in multiple etiquette sites, but my general rule of thumb is to place the taller glass first (usually the wine glass), then set the shorter glass to the right of it. The medium-sized plate on the left is for the salad and be sure to notice the smaller salad fork placed next to (outside of) the dinner fork. The picture on the right shows us all the same tableware, but condensed, which is great if you don't have a lot of space. Simply place the smaller salad plate on top of the dinner plate. Serve the salad as its own course and remove the salad plate when everyone is done, then bring out the main course and sides.

The place setting above is slightly more elevated in its formality with the inclusion of a soup bowl, soup spoon, and an additional wine glass. The multiple wine glasses, (one for red, one for white) are for separate courses. White wine is traditionally served with the salad, fish, and sometimes soup course—though soup ingredients may dictate a change to red if it's beef or lamb based. The soup bowl sits on top of the dinner plate and the soup spoon hangs out to the far right of the silverware, next to the dinner spoon. If you are ever at a table and are not sure what fork or spoon to use, the general rule of thumb is to start on the outsides of the silverware and eat in. For example, the salad, soup, and fish courses will always come before the main course, so grab the smaller fork for the salads and that outside spoon for the soup. (Silverware pro-tip: I'm not blessed with smaller salad knives in my tableware collection, but should you ever dine at a fancy establishment and there are two knives on the right side of your plate, the smaller knife is a salad knife and can be used in conjunction with the smaller salad fork. If both knives are the same size, one is still meant to be used for the salad. If you are setting a table with a salad knife, place it directly next to the dinner plate, blade facing inwards, and the dinner knife next to it, then the spoon(s).)

If you are hosting a dinner with all the trimmings, here are two examples for where all that extra stuff goes. The picture on the left shows everything spread out and is a beautiful setting if you have the room on your table. Let's start at the top of the left photo. You'll see the bread plate and butter knife, but underneath them is the dessert spoon and dessert fork. You'll also notice the coffee cup, saucer, and teaspoon—again, this makes for an elaborate setting, but if you don't have the room, you can remove the cup and saucer and bring them out when dessert if served. The soup bowl sits on top of the dinner plate while the salad plate is at the top left of the setting. The soup would be served and bowl cleared before the salad plate was brought down to sit atop the larger dinner plate. In the condensed version (photo on the right), you'll notice the salad plate and soup bowl nest together on top of the dinner plate. Both red and white wine glasses are out in both images and the tiny fork on the far right is for shellfish.

Place Setting Tips

Should you purchase dinnerware, here are some things to consider:

• Before you buy anything, ask yourself how often do you want to wash your dishes? If you host a dinner party, are you okay with washing your salad plates right after the meal to have plates for dessert? Will you need to wash your lunch plate to have dinner on it that evening? Definitely plan on having enough dishes to get you (and people in your household) through an entire day's worth of meals before you need to wash them!

• For a 1-2 person home, eight is a great number to start with in terms of place settings, unless you have a larger family you need to accommodate. The term place setting includes dishes, glassware, silverware, and linens (napkins and tablecloths). Be sure to order an extra plate setting or two to account for breakage, silverware accidently being thrown away, or linens gets permanently stained, torn, etc. My personal preference (based on a family of 4) is having 10-12 place settings on hand to accommodate everyday eating and family dinners. You can always mix and match dishware for a more casual-formal affair if you don't have enough of one entire set to cover your table.

• If your salad and dessert plates are the same size, you may wish to double up on them so you don't have to wash dishes in the middle of your dinner. Or buy some inexpensive melamine dishes that are prettily decorated and use them for dessert.

• Spoons are used for beverages, desserts, and sometimes while eating mains and sides. You can't ever go wrong purchasing extra spoons in addition to your silverware sets. Same goes if you are using salad and dessert forks interchangeably, so you may wish to double up on those as well.

Thankfully, one of the pros to a more casual culture these days is no one is going to bat an eye if your cutlery is grandma's solid silver or if it's made of plastic. Your dishes can be the finest English china or Chinet from the grocery store. Food and love is what draws us together, but make your mom happy and at least put the silverware on the proper sides of the plate.

Now simmer down and get to setting your table! xx